SEPTEMBER - 2011

HUMOR

What kind of snack do monkeys have with their milk? Chocolate chimp cookies.

While driving to preschool, a doctor let his daughter look at his stethoscope. His little girl picked it up and began playing with it. This thrilled him and he thought: Perhaps one day she will follow in my footsteps and become a doctor. But then he heard her as she spoke into the instrument, “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”

Two women were talking: “I was chatting with your husband the other day and he told me that you aren’t going to Europe this summer.” “No,” the other woman replied, “That was last year. This year we are not going to Hawaii.”

A reporter was interviewing a man on his ninety-ninth birthday. “I certainly hope I can come back next year and see you reach the century mark,” he said. “Can’t see any reason why not, young feller,” the old-timer replied. “You look healthy enough to me!”

GOSSIP:

We have to be real careful with half-truths; we are likely to repeat the wrong half.

I’m careful of the words I say – I keep them soft and sweet – I never know from day to day – Which ones I’ll have to eat.

Gossip is the art of making a mountain out of a molehill by piling on dirt.

WORDS AND NUMBERS

Lake Chargoggagooggmanchauggauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg. The name, which has 17 g’s, is pronounced, naturally, as it’s spelled. There are two variant spellings. According to author, Bill McLain, this Nipmuck Indian word means, “You fish on your side, I fish on my side, nobody fishes in the middle.” (Thanks Alfie!)

PROOFREADING: Although I did proofread the name of the lake above, still I could have mixed up some letters. This reminds me of a boo-boo I made on page 18 of My Story of the Bryn Athyn Cathedral. In the second paragraph, I should have written: (The Biblical reference is Revelation 12, verse 7 and of interest at least to me, is the fact that the Greek inscription on the nearby Cloister Porch is from Revelation 7, verse 12.) For some reason unknown to me I originally wrote a 3 instead of the correct 7.

“THE CHURCHES of medieval Europe were essentially anonymous.” So begins the Preface by Bruce Glenn in the book, BRYN ATHYN CATHEDRAL. I have a similar anonymity in the Second Edition because there is a well-camouflaged reference to my contributions on page 6 – “Small revisions have been made to the text where needed in order to reflect updated information.” And who provided that information? Incidentally “small” usually refers to size and “minor” would have been more appropriate – not I am hurt and therefore feeling critical. “Minor but important” would have been even better and more reflective of truth. (Like the Cathedral, the Second Edition is a fine work of art. I say to the Committee Members, “Excellent job. Well done.”)

PEDDLERS’ VILLAGE

On Saturday July 9th Dorothy and I had lunch at the Water Lilies restaurant in Peddlers’ Village. The room was filled with about 30 people. In one corner, a table away from us, sat two men and two ladies, who appeared to be in their mid-seventies. It soon became apparent that the two men were ministers. “The Bible must be read completely five times before graduation from Theological School,” one man declared. “I think that it should be read three times before graduation,” the other man responded. Then he added, “I read three chapters every day.” The other gentleman responded, “I read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation once every year.”

One minister said braggingly, I thought, “I can get my congregation roused up every Sunday but they have to get up the other six days themselves without me to encourage them to live a life of faith. Yet they need heroes [like me] to guide them.”

So on and on it went with these ministers trying, I thought, to out-brag each other. They might as well have been talking about politics or sports. I can imagine one of them saying, “You know Mickey Mantle was the greatest Yankee” and the other responding that Roger Maris out-hit Mantle in key situations during the playoffs. “Mantle would have been nothing without Maris challenging him.” Whatever. But I did enjoy the quiche and fruit salad.

Later we met a shopkeeper who had visited our Cathedral. She said warmly that the residents of Bryn Athyn were “very good people.”

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

“The more you act like a lady, the more he’ll act like a gentleman.” - Sidney Biddle Barrows

“A beautiful lady is an accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of art.” - Louis Nizer

“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from to love to matrimony in a moment.” - Jane Austen

“I’ll be a wife and mother first, then First Lady.” - Jackie Kennedy

“A gentleman would be ashamed should his deeds not match his words.” - Kong Fu Zi

“And though it is much to be a nobleman, it is more to be a gentleman.” - Anthony Trollope

“Education begins a gentleman, but reading, good company and reflection finish him.” - John Locke

“A gentleman is a man who can disagree without being disagreeable.” - Anonymous

“A gentleman demands much of himself; a mean man demands much of others.” - Confucius

“In the service of his country a gentleman places duty first and reward last.” - Confucius

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

In the May 2011 issue of Sunshine I wrote: “In 1981 I was removed from my service at the Cathedral by a business man and a couple of priests.” Indeed the business man pretty much destroyed my life and then moved on with his financially very successful career. However he has made no effort to make amends with me.

Perhaps it goes back to childhood experiences that gives a person a compulsion to be king of the hill. Indeed he may accumulate more toys during his time on earth than many other people. But so what? I thought that the goal of each person in the natural world is to become and image and likeness of the Lord, not just be an accumulator of material things. Well I really do not know this man, now in his eighties, I guess. Maybe he is quite regenerate by now but all I know for sure is that he hurt me badly and doesn’t seem to care that he did.

One priest was a bishop then and he did communicate with me, with a humility that I doubt that I will ever attain. He and I are friends though he is in the spiritual world now – I believe in the New Church Heaven.

The other priest, I believe, has used this sad event to enter into profound states of repentance and regeneration. He did tell me that firing me was a mistake as if it was just a bad business decision. Perhaps he has told the Lord that he is sorry. But long ago Mrs. Philip Pendleton told me that this pastor would NEVER apologize for his actions. Apparently she was right. At one time it seemed that his wealth gave him a sense of superiority over people. Indeed his words and actions appeared to be contemptuous for us commoners. He may have changed a lot but apparently not to the extent that he can be bothered to seek justice regarding the cruelty he inflicted on me.

QUOTATIONS

“The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward.” - Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

“We have enough people who tell it like it is – now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.” - Robert Orben

“When indeed shall we learn that we are all related to one another, that we are all members of one body? Until the spirit of love for our fellow men, regardless of race, color or creed, shall fill the world, making real in our lives and our deeds the actuality of human brotherhood – until the great mass of people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other’s welfare, social justice can never be attained." - Helen Keller (1880-1968)

“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all….” - Emily Dickinson

“A new life begins for us with every second. Let us go forward joyously to meet it. We must press on, whether we will or no [not], and we shall walk better with our eyes before us than with them ever cast behind.” - Jerome K. Jerome (1859-1927)

“When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.” - Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld

VITA

On Tuesday, July 12th as Dorothy and I were returning from a walk around Pine Run Park, we met Vita and one of her Ukrainian girl friends. They were riding their scooters. They seemed to be having lots of fun and I asked Vita to introduce me to her friend – a rather small, thin 10 year old. Soon I was trying to impress her friend with my knowledge of the Ukrainian language. I pointed to my hand and said, “Ruka.” (I have no idea how to spell that word.) However I soon became lost in my ability to identify bodily parts with their proper Ukrainian names and finally declared that I was really stupid.

Well that was too much for Vita to hear Mr. L say. Leaning her head back just a little and putting on a facial expression as if she was going to impart some great wisdom, she said that I had been an exceptional student of the Ukrainian language. As I recall she said that of all of the people she had taught, I had been the best learner. She assumed the posture of a wise teacher who was now making a sound judgment.

I thought, “What students? You’re a teacher? What?” Yet I saw that her intent was to bolster my self-confidence. So I pushed out my chest and declared that indeed I was very skilled in the Ukrainian language. She looked at me as if checking to see if I was now self-confident again.

Vita then proceeded to talk about sap which comes from trees. She wondered if we should eat the bark of trees to get sweet sap. I pointed to some green mold on the bark of an oak tree and suggested that we eat it. The girls told me that that was gross and disgusting. Then we wandered towards Vita’s home, laughing as we went.

FROM THE WRITINGS OF EMANUEL SWEDENBORG

It is the nature of the love of self to regard self only, and to regard others as of little or no account; if it gives any consideration to some, it is only so long as they honor and pay court to it. - Divine Providence 206

For man’s own prudence is continually raising its head, and the Divine Providence is continually putting it down. If man felt this he would be provoked and enraged against God, and would perish; but as long as he does not feel it he may be provoked and enraged against men and with himself, and also against fortune, but this does not destroy him. - DP 211

The end of creation is a heaven from the human race. - DP 322

Therefore man’s being an “image” of God means that he is a recipient of the Divine wisdom, his being a “likeness” of God means that he is a recipient of the Divine love…. - DP 328

Dignities in the earliest times were such only as were accorded by children to parents; they were dignities of love, full of respect and veneration, not on account of their birth from them but because of the instruction and wisdom received from them, which was a second birth, in itself spiritual, because it was the birth of their spirit…. By the ancients those times were called the golden ages. - DP 215

…for everyone who dies in infancy enters heaven…. - DP 324

HUMOR

Certainly I respect your opinion but I would respect it even more if you kept it to yourself.

CRICK: The sound made by a Japanese camera.

ROAD SIGN: Drive carefully. Don’t insist on your rites.

“He’s not worth her wiles.” - Galsworthy

SIGN ON HOOVER DAM: U.S. Govt. Property Do Not Remove

LETTERS FROM CAMP:

Dear Mother and Daddy, The Director is making everyone write home. - Eve

Dear Mama and Papa, The kids are pretty nice here. Except Amy. She is a drip and I hate her. My counselor is okay. The food is good and they don’t make you eat it. - Love, Jane

Dear Folks, Having okay time, I think. Yesterday we went on a hike. Send my other sneaker. - Love, Rich

A minister wanted to get a copy of Canon Farrar’s book, “Seekers After God,” and sent an order to a New York bookseller for it. But the bookseller could not get it in New York or Chicago, and sent this telegram to the minister: “No ‘Seekers After God’ in New York or Chicago; try Philadelphia.”