AUGUST 2009

EDITORIAL

On June 17th of this year, as I walked by my neighbor’s house, Victoria called out to me from the living room window. I walked over to talk with her and she asked me if I knew where her family was going on vacation. I did not know so she informed me that they were going to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, along the Atlantic Ocean. As if with the wisdom of a well-travelled lady of the world, she told me, “It is sooo nice there” although she has never been there before. Then she told me, with great excitement, “We can look out the window of our house there and see the sandwich. Opps. I mean the sand. I said ‘sandwich’ – I meant sand.” Both of us laughed.

Now today, June 19th she asked me if I could be her buddy. I said, “Sure.” Then she challenged me with, “But you don’t always want to play games because you are an ‘old guy’.” Great, what did she think I had been doing for the past half-hour as I directed a game of “red light, green light” as she and her sister rode their scooters on Woodward Drive? Yet I knew that she was challenging me to play more with her – she has a way of motivating me. For example when we play hide and seek and I sit down for a few minutes, I often hear her taunting me from the other side of the house, “You’re NOT chasing me.”

Yes, I know what a man named James M. Barrie meant when he wrote, “God gave us memories that we may have roses in December.” I hope that I will not forget these innocent moments with my young neighbors.

Incidentally, Victoria will be entering into First Grade in September.

HUMOR

CHINESE:

A man was walking along a beach in California and found a bottle. After picking it up, he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. He said, “For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one.” The man thought for a minute and said, “I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I am afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii.”

The genie thought for a few minutes and said, “No, I don’t think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all of the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask.”

The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, “There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with sometimes?”

The genie considered this request for a few minutes and then said, “So, do you want two lanes or four?”

A turtle was crossing the road when he was mugged by two other turtles. Later when the police asked him what happened, the shaken turtle said, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

JOHN LOCKE

English philosopher (1632-1704)

I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.

The Bible is one of the greatest blessings bestowed by God on the children of men. It has God for its author; salvation for its end, and truth without any mixture for its matter. It is all pure.

There is frequently more to be learned from the unexpected questions of a child than the discourses of men.

A sound mind in a sound body is a short, but full description of a happy state in this World….

Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain.

It is one thing to show a man that he is in an error, and another to put him in possession of the truth.

Reading furnishes the mind only with the materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read ours.

Education begins the gentleman, but reading, good company and reflection must finish him.

It is easier for a tutor to command than to teach.

To love our neighbor as ourselves is such a truth for regulating human society, that by that alone one might determine all cases in social morality.

We should have a great fewer disputes in the world if words were taken for what they are, the signs of our ideas only, and not for things themselves.

PEOPLE

On Saturday evening, June 27, my wife Dorothy and I descended a stairway of about 20 steps leading into the Wildflower restaurant in New Hope Pa. She preceded me and after I took a few steps I noticed a young lady ascending the steps. I thought I knew her. As I recall, at first I looked keenly at her, smiled and then looked more searchingly. She looked back at me and then staggered to a bench on the side of the stairwell where she collapsed. As I walked by her she lay motionless. My first thought was that she had taken too much alcohol and I felt strongly that she did not want me to see her in that state. Several other people were on the stairs and I thought they could attend to her, so I just walked by her, lying in her long summer dress.

Dorothy and I had our supper, after which I suggested to her that we take one more look at the Delaware River. As we walked onto the bridge, the lady who had fainted approached us. Beside her was a rather strong-looking man over six feet tall. She studied my eyes and I looked deeply into hers until she lowered her head. Apparently she had informed the man with her that I was the one who caused her to become unconscious. He glared at me and flexed his muscles threateningly. I averted my eyes and they walked by. Now I wonder if his hostile attitude was noticed by an approaching man. Perhaps his menacing appearance was noticed by one of the biker guys who inhabit New Hope, who may have challenged him by saying, “What’s the matter with you buddy?” I am sure the tall young man would have liked to explain his facial appearance as I also would have liked to have had the opportunity to explain my intentions in regard to the young lady who fainted.

Here is the situation. I meant no harm to her. I just wanted to say “Hi.” Her male friend, meant to defend her, even to the “point of punching my lights out.” I wonder – had she been deeply embarrassed to be seen by me with a man who perhaps was not her husband? Or was she really not the person I thought I knew? What is the truth?

More than a quarter-century ago when I worked at the Cathedral, a few people associated with it, it seemed to me, loved half-truths, quarter-truths and the alluring distortions of falsity. Sometimes when necessary, Bishop Willard Pendleton would call me at home to inquire about some occurrence at the Cathedral. I admired him a lot for searching for facts before making a judgment. We became good friends based on mutual respect. However, others associated with the Cathedral then, remind me of the young man described above. Regardless of the facts, sometimes they become instantly, judge, jury and, as it were, executioner, even if the instruments of killing are spoken words, sometimes whispered.

Hey friends, let us base our decisions about our neighbors and their lives, on reality. This takes time, reflection on what we learn, and an abundance of goodwill and mercy.

PROVERBS

• The butterfly sometimes forgets that once it was a caterpillar.
• Still waters run deep.
• To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming.
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
• It takes all sorts to make this world.
• Sell not virtue to purchase wealth.
• An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
• One good turn deserves another.
• The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
• A good beginning makes a good end.
• A mob has many heads but no brains.
• A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
• Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.
• Let sleeping dogs lie.
• A full cup must be carried carefully.
• Poverty is not a shame, but being ashamed of it is.
• One of these days means none of these days.
• After the game, the king and pawn go into the same box.

WORDS

QUIXOTIC - It is an adjective meaning impulsive, rashly unpredictable; also visionary, lofty and idealistic, but impracticable. It comes from the name of Don Quixote, hero of Cervantes’s novel.

PYRRHIC VICTORY - This is a victory achieved at too great a price. It comes from the name of Pyrrhus, a king of Epirus, an ancient district in northwest Grease and southern Albania. Plutarch reported that in 279 B.C. Pyrrhus won a costly victory over the Romans in southeast Italy. Taking note that he had lost many men and all of his best officers, Pyrrhus said: “One more such victory and we are lost.”

“The” plus “IRS” spells “Theirs.”

REST ON ONE’S LAURELS - This it said of a person who has achieved great fame and feels that he or she can now relax and enjoy that fame without further exertion. The allusion is to the wreaths of laurel with which outstanding Roman citizens were crowned.

SAWBUCK - A sawbuck is a ten-dollar bill. The name has been current in American slang since about 1850, having been especially popular in the Western frontier. The sawbuck originally was a kind of sawhorse with the legs so projecting above the crossbar, so that they formed X’s at each end of the sawhorse. X, of course, is the Roman numeral for “ten” – and that is how the ten-dollar bill came to be called a sawbuck.

NOT MY CUP OF TEA - This phrase has long been common in the British Isles, where tea –properly brewed – is a favorite drink. Not my cup of tea simply means “not what I would want.”

ESOTERIC - Anything esoteric is intended for the chosen few, the insiders. The word comes from the Greek esteros meaning inner.

HUMOR

NEW MEDICAL DICTIONARY:

FROM SCIENCE EXAMS BY 11-year-old students:

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

When my husband I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys accidently had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found our mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched, standing outside the passenger side door, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I called to the technician, “Its open!” He replied, “I know. I already got that side.” (This occurred at a Ford dealership in Canton, MS.)

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker, my friend was leaving the company due to downsizing. Our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this more often.” Speechless we just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. (This occurred at Texas Instruments.)

QUOTATIONS

“Life is not about waiting for storms to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” ?

“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” Emerson

“A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.” Ibid.

“Religion is a way of walking, not a way of talking.” W.R. Inge

“I’m not ok – you’re not ok and that’s ok.” Rev. William Sloane Coffin

“All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.” James Thurber

“Two things a man cannot hide: that he is drunk, and that he is in love.” Antiphanes

“We judge ourselves by our motives and others by their actions.” D. Morrow

“No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come.” V. Hugo

“Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.” Will Rogers

“He that flings dirt at another dirtieth himself the most.” Thomas Fuller

“Injustice never rules forever.” Seneca

“A frightened captain makes a frightened crew.” Lister Sinclair

“Zeal without knowledge is like fire without light.” Thomas Fuller

“The lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house a guest and then becomes a host, and then a master.” Kahlil Gibran

VARIOUS THOUGHTS

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

I had amnesia once – or was it twice?

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

The shampoo promised me extra body and I gained three pounds.

Is Carl Marx’s tomb a communist plot?

What can’t be cured must be endured. Proverb

“Only man, among living things, says prayers. Or needs to.” P. Bowman

Every path has its puddle. Proverb

“He who is in love with himself has at least this advantage – he won’t encounter many rivals.” G.C. Lichtenberg

“When a man is wrapped up in himself he makes a pretty small package.” John Ruskin

“Never cut what you can untie.” Joseph Joubert

Patience is a bitter plant but it has a sweet fruit. Proverb

Visits always give pleasure – if not the arrival, the departure. Proverb

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

The above are three picture puzzles. See if you can figure any of them out before peeking at the answers here