High above us the myriad stars
Glow full as they turn.
Yet in you the outliving of stars
Has already begun.”
Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926), Germany
“All is flux; nothing stays still.” Heraclitus (c. 535-475 B.C.) Greece
“We cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence: like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away.” Chaung Tzu (3rd century B.C.), China
“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” Mother Teresa (1910-1997) India
“Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.” Henry James (1843-1916) USA & England
“Conquer the angry man by love. Conquer the ill-natured man by goodness. Conquer the miser with generosity. Conquer the liar with truth.” The Dhammapada (Indian?)
“Hurtful expressions should never be used, not even against an enemy, for inevitably they will return to us, like an echo from a rock.” Je Campopa (1079-1153) Tibet
“It is incumbent on all men of understanding to stop hurting and harming others and to cultivate a boundless heart full of pity and benevolence.” Piyadassi Thera (1914-1998) Sri Lanka
“In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.” Anne Frank (1929-1945) Germany
“Support living beings with your whole nature and protect them like your own body.” Nagarjuna (c.150-250) India
“We do good to ourselves by making and adhering to the resolution not to take advantage of others.” Je Gampopa (1079-1153), Tibet
How many suburbanites does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but it has to look like every other light bulb on the block.
How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Eno.
How many bureaucrats (civil servants) does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done, while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
Six: One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
Four: One to change the bulb, and three to complain that the old one was a lot better.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
That’s not funny.
On July 27th last summer, I was sitting on my front porch surrounded by my young buddies. They were Julia (age 8), Vita (4), Victoria (8), and her younger brother Bohdan, three feet tall and four years old.
For about a year now, Julia has been obsessed with having a dog. However her parents have said “no” many times. Also I have hesitated to agree with Julia’s request that the dog be housed and fed by me on my property.
So Julia seems to be content, at least for the moment, with the idea of walking an animal, other than a dog, on a leash. First, her bird did not want to cooperate, and now her pet hermit crab was resisting the idea. However there stood Julia with a string attached to a rubber band which she intended to wrap around the crab. We all tried to attach the two, even my wife Dorothy tried. But that crab kept reaching out its claws toward us monsters and finally he won the battle. So he sat on the concrete path, rather smugly I thought, surrounded by very willing but frustrated, potential crab-walkers.
Now, allow me to share a few thoughts about Bohdan. He lives next door to me with his family, including his grandfather, Bohdan for whom he is named. I can imagine someone calling for Bohdan and both grandfather and grandson responding. Young Bohdan must have been confused those times when he heard his name called, but when he responded, he discovered that he was not the one being called. (Incidentally, his sister Victoria, has pleaded with her father to be allowed to call him “Dan” when she is introducing him to her friends – his name can be difficult for Americans to pronounce. However she is encouraged to call him “Bohdan” on such social situations.)
Anyway there we were looking down at the victorious, ugly-looking hermit crab, when one of us uttered the name, “Bohdan”. Little Bohdan, leaned for support against his sister, uttering words of total unbelief and indeed horror as he looked at the crab and exclaimed, “That’s Bohdan!” His self-image, I speculate, was totally shattered. Who was he – his grandfather, a crab, or just a little guy trying to find his place in a very big world?
However we quickly assured him that the object on the ground was a hermit crab. He then informed all of us that we were looking at a hermit crab. Thank you Bohdan for this information and I am grateful that you recovered from the idea that you were somehow a crab or even crab-like.
Oh, how painful those times were when we believed that we were mislabeled by others but partially believed the label for a while. Ouch.
But truth brings clarity and, with good people, all is well.
By John G. Saxe
My days pleasantly pass away;
My nights are blessed with sweetest sleep;
I feel no symptoms of decay;
I have no cause to mourn nor weep;
My foes are impotent and shy;
My friends are neither false nor cold,
And yet, of late, I often sigh –
I’m getting old!
My growing talk of olden times,
My growing thirst for early news,
My growing apathy to rhymes,
My growing love of easy shoes,
My growing hate of crowds and noise,
My growing fear of taking cold,
All whisper, in the plainest voice,
I’m growing old!
I’m growing fonder of my staff;
I’m growing dimmer in the eyes;
I’m growing fainter in my laugh;
I’m growing deeper in my sighs;
I’m growing careless of my dress;
I’m growing frugal of my gold;
I’m growing wise; I’m growing –
yes –
I’m growing old!
Thanks for the years! – whose
rapid flight
My somber Muse too sadly sings;
Thanks for the gleams of golden
light
That tint the darkness of their
wings;
The light that beams out from the
sky,
Those heavenly mansions to unfold
Where all are blest, and none may
sigh,
“I’m growing old!”
(Found in a book of poems, 1878)
There was a brave girl of Connecticut
Who flagged the express [bus or taxi?] with her pecticut,
Which her elders defined
As presence of mind,
But deplorable absence of ecticut.
The truth I do not stretch or shove
When I state the dog is full of love.
I’ve also proved, by actual test,
A wet dog is the lovingest.
The people upstairs all practice ballet.
Their living room is a bowling alley.
Their bedroom is full of conducted tours.
Their radio is louder than yours.
They celebrate weekends all the week.
When they take a shower, your ceilings leak.
They try to get their parties to mix
By supplying their guests with Pogo sticks,
And when their orgy at last abates,
They go to the bathroom on roller skates.
I might love the people upstairs wondrous
If instead of above us, they just lived under us.
Behold the hippopotamus!
We laugh at how he looks to us,
And yet in moments dank and grim
I wonder how we look to him.
Peace, peace, thou hippopotamus!
We really look all right to us,
As you no doubt delight the eye
Of other hippopotami.
He drinks because she scolds, he thinks;
She thinks she scolds because he drinks;
And neither will admit what’s true,
That he’s a sot and she’s a shrew.
Q. Where was Nero when Rome burned in 64 A.D.?
A. At his villa at Antium (now Anxio), 35 miles from Rome. And he wasn’t fiddling – the violin had not yet been invented.
Q. What famous philosopher is known by the name given to him by his wrestling teacher?
A. Plato, who was originally named Aristocles. According to historians the nickname Plato, which means “broad” in Greek,
referred to either his broad shoulders or broad head.
Q. What famous philosopher said, “Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and
tyrannize their teachers.”
A. Socrates, who lived in Greece from 470 to 399 B.C.
Q. What is the word “laser” an acronym for?
A. Light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation.
Q. How was Queen Victoria trained to keep her chin up as a child?
A. A sprig of holly was placed beneath her collar.
Q. How are 99 percent of buildings heated in Reykjavik, the capital of Iceland?
A. With geothermal power – from natural hot (140 degrees F.) water from an underground reservoir.
The water (from Ice Age glaciers trapped by hardened lava from volcanic eruptions) is piped to radiators and
hot-water tanks throughout the city.
Q. How did Charles Lindbergh’s Spirit of Saint Louis get back to the U.S.A. after its historic 1927 transatlantic
flight to Paris?
A. In a pine packing crate, measuring 27 by 12 by 9 feet, that was put aboard the cruiser USS Memphis.
Q. In what country did the windmill originate?
A. In Iran, in 644 A.D. It was used to grind grain.
Q. What river is the longest in Europe?
A. The Volga, the principal waterway in Russia, which is approximately 2,293 miles long.
Q. How is the Balinese national holiday known as Njebi celebrated?
A. In silence. It is the national day of silence.
By Loren Eiseley
The trout stream is fished out and still;
The fishers with their flies have gone.
Nor upstream now, nor down the hill
Move any men with waders on.
The water keeps on coming down;
Still water running green and deep
Harbors a stealthy life where brown
Old leaves go sailing into sleep.
The fishers say the stream is bad.
No rainbow flash against the sun
Will make the souls of fishers glad,
But say for fishers I am one
And here, at least, can still be caught
The slippery minnows of a thought.
This poem, published in 1941, can encourage people to re-examine, that is, search again in various areas (trout streams) of their lives, for deeper understanding.
We are all familiar, I am sure, with the statement from the Spiritual Diary, no. 733 – “…there are more arcana in the doctrine of reflection than in any other whatsoever.” We are free to fish again in memories of our past lives, such as the views we have formed of others and ourselves, and perhaps find new ideas (minnows) there.
I like to think that older folks tend to do this, as they reflect on the paths that their lives have taken.
I am not the sort of person who repeats gossip, so listen carefully.
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an
immediate loan of $5,000.
The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral, and so the man said, “Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce.”
The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank’s underground parking lot for safekeeping, and gave him $5,000.
Two weeks later the man walked through the bank’s doors and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back.
“That will be five thousand dollars in principal, and fifteen dollars an forty cents in interest,” the loan officer said.
The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.
“Wait, sir,” the loan officer said. “While you were gone, I found out that you are a millionaire. Why would you need to borrow
five thousand dollars?”
The man smiled. “Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only fifteen dollars and forty cents?”
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
A will is a dead giveaway.
A young lady was sitting on the bus cooing to her baby when a drunk staggered aboard and down the aisle. Stopping in front of her,
he looked down and said, “Lady, that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen.”
The woman burst into tears, and there was such an outcry of sympathy among the other passengers that they kicked the drunk
off the bus. But the woman kept on sobbing and wailing so loudly that finally the driver pulled the bus over to the side of
the road.
“Look, I don’t know what that bum said to you,” the driver said to his inconsolable passenger, “but to help calm you
down I’m going to get you a cup of tea.” And off he went, coming back shortly with a cup of tea from the corner deli.
“Now calm down, lady,” soothed the driver. “Everything is going to be okay. See, I brought you a cup of tea, and I
even got a banana for your pet monkey.”
Teacher: Well, at least there’s one good thing I can say about your son.
Father: What’s that?
Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.
“I can’t understand how all this can happen. It’s enough to make one lose one’s faith in God.” Eva Braun writing to a friend from Hitler’s bunker during the siege and bombing of Berlin in April 1945.
“[President Carter] speaks loudly and carries a fly spotter, a fly swasher – its been a long day.” President Gerald Ford
“The similarities between me and my father are different.” Dale Berra, son of Yogi Berra
“A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.” Movie mogul, Samuel Goldwyn
“This is a great day for France!” President Nixon while attending Charles De Gaulle’s funeral
“It’s a question of whether we’re going to go forward into the future, or past into the back.” Vice-President Dan Quayle
“I move, Mr. Chairman, that all fire extinguishers be examined ten day before every fire.” A city councilman during a debate
“Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans.” Alf Landon
“This is the worst disaster in California since I was elected.” California Governor Pat Brown, discussing a local flood
For over 40 years my grandfather put in long hours at his job, so I was more than a little curious about how he filled his
days since his retirement.
“How has life changed?” I asked.
A man of few words, he replied, “Well, I get up in the morning with nothing to do, and I go to bed at night with it half-done.”
A doctor told one of his heavy-set patients to stay in shape.
The patient responded, “I do stay in shape. This is the shape I stay in.”